The son of a statesman. The shadow of a war. The weight of unspoken truths. Craig McNamara grew up surrounded by power—Sunday lunches at the White House, brushing shoulders with presidents and generals. Yet, beneath the dreamy surface of this life lied an unsettling truth: the man he called “Dad,” his father, Robert McNamara—the US Secretary of Defense, was a key architect of the Vietnam War. He knew the Vietnam War was unwinnable but still pressed on. What does it mean...
Living in the shadow of history
Growing up as Robert McNamara’s son was both thrilling and lonely. Thrilling because being the son of the U.S. Secretary of Defense during the Vietnam War, he “had a front-row seat to history.” Lonely, because he was often left out of his father’s life.At fifteen, he was sent off to St. Paul’s, a strict New England boarding school. His skills on the football field earned him the nickname “Missile McNamara,” but academics were a different story—he struggled.One winter evening, Craig...
Breaking away to escape from the shadows
Craig moved to Stanford, California. His journey there was more than just going to college—it was an escape from the shadow of his father. Ironically though, he had gotten in thanks to his father’s name! But here he had a chance to speak out for himself—to understand the war.By 1969, antiwar protests spread everywhere. His college wasn’t spared either. One particular protest at Stanford still stands out. It started off peaceful—Craig even found himself trying to calm the crowd, shouting,...
Riding south to freedom
For Craig, settling down and joining the establishment that his father was a part of felt like a betrayal, so he barely hesitated to say yes to the trip. He and his friends—Will, a boarding school buddy, and Rob, a farm kid from Baltimore—bought three BMW bikes and set off carrying a map, a little more than curiosity and a few phrases of Spanish. Sounds like freedom, adventure, and escape—all in one.Their journey reached a literal dead end in Panama...
Returning home and finding roots
Returning to the States in 1973 felt strange to Craig, like stepping into a whole new world. He thought about how the Vietnam veterans must have felt coming back to the country: not welcomed but judged for the war and the defeat.Washington brought him joy with family and friends, but it was brief. To Craig, the normal world felt almost absurd. Grocery stores seemed endless! Aisles packed with processed foods, and massive refrigerators seemed just wasteful after his time in...
Seeking connection and legacy at the end
The closest Craig and his father ever came to truly connecting was at the Telluride Film Festival in 2003. His father had invited him to see The Fog of War, Errol Morris's documentary about his life and choices during the Vietnam War. Craig could sense his father’s vulnerability; the film threatened to expose the more vulnerable, self-doubting side of the usually stoic Robert McNamara. But Craig felt sidelined as Robert remained distant, focused on the festival and not really on...
Summary
Craig McNamara’s journey isn’t about finding all the answers—it’s about coming to terms with his father’s complex legacy. His father’s ambition and silence left scars, but they also shaped Craig’s path, pushing him toward farming and self-discovery. Through protests, travels, and quiet moments, Craig learned that healing often comes through acceptance, not resolution. His story reminds us that while we may never fully escape our past, we can learn to live with it and even find meaning in carrying it...
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About the Author
Craig McNamara is an American businessman and farmer. He is the son of Robert McNamara, who was John F. Kennedy's Secretary of Defense and the architect of the Vietnam War. Craig is the author of Because Our Fathers Lied: A Memoir of Truth and Family, from Vietnam to Today.
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