Imagine this: you’re curled up on the couch with a steaming mug of hot chocolate in your freezing hands, a blanket over your legs, watching a classic movie with your loved one! Your partner steals a glance at you and a wave of excitement grips over. It is in this one look and in these quiet moments of connection and joy that the word "love" comes to mind. But is it all there is to love? No, rather love is...
Unravel the Stories You Tell Yourself
Are you a good liar? Have you ever looked someone in the face and cooked up a totally believable story on spot? With varying degrees of success, but you’ve definitely done it! How can we tell? Because humans are excellent storytellers! Our brain loves structure. It likes to make sense out of things. So, it writes its own fan fiction to process your life events. Or even glosses over the details you don’t like. By this logic, there is a...
Face Your Emotions
If you feel like you've become a pressure cooker of upsetting experiences, you’re not alone. But here's the truth: suppressing those tough emotions is like keeping the lid on a boiling pot – it might stay contained for a while, but eventually, it'll explode, making things worse.Sharon Salzberg discovered this firsthand after her friend's suicide. She tried to meditate away her grief, but a wise monk saw through it. He encouraged her to let it all out, and guess what?...
Understand Your Jealousy
You’re scrolling through Instagram, comparing your life to everyone's perfectly curated highlight reels. Feeling a pang of envy when your colleague gets promoted or your friend announces their dream job. Been there? That jealousy monster can be tough to tame!But what if, instead of letting jealousy take over, we could harness the power of other people's happiness? It's not about pretending to be okay with every win, but about tapping into something called sympathetic joy.Imagine your best friend landing a...
Kindness Brews Stronger Relationships
Playwright Lillian Hellman famously said, “People change and forget to tell each other.” In relationships, silence screams louder than words. Unexpressed feelings and needs leave gaps, and our anxious minds fill them with negativity. Your distracted partner may be stressed about work pressure or a potential workplace layoff. But you might interpret their silence as disinterest, fuelling your own insecurities.Instead, try a sprinkle of kindness - to yourself and to everyone else. Kindness is a gentle mirror that reflects back...
Navigating “The Space Between”
In every intimate relationship, there are three elements: us, our loved one, and the space that lies between. That in-between space is rich with possibility, but it can also become an inhospitable no-fly zone. So, how do we strike a balance between privacy and intimacy?See, sometimes this space is physical, like temperature control fight over AC. Other times, emotional and deeper like unspoken feelings. As always, we either bottle it up or start making up stuff assuming what our loved...
Letting Go Is the Key to Stronger and Deeper Love
What does "let go" even mean? Letting go is allowing things to unfold as they are, without trying to force them into the mold you had envisioned. Understanding that life has its own natural rhythm, and you need to stop thinking you can control it. We know, you can't help it! It is human nature to want to take control and "fix" things. But trying to fix someone else's experience is the flip side of love. When you let go,...
Reclaim True Connection in a Busy World
Stop right now. Pause and take a deep breath. Stay present in this moment. Now, look around. Look at the people and the interactions. Now think about your closest relationships - friends, family, partner. When was the last time you truly connected with them? Allowed yourself to be fully attentive and emotionally engaged?Love lies in the simple act of presence - show up fully for life itself! See the craving for happiness in everyone, and in every mundane interaction. Almost...
Find Happiness in the Little Things
Have you ever felt like happiness is a butterfly, flying just out of reach? You chase it, whispering, "When I get the dream job, the perfect apartment, the billionaire bank balance, or finally find the right partner, then I'll be truly happy." But what if true happiness isn't some final grand prize, but a million tiny sparkles scattered around you right now?And just so you know, happiness is NOT the absence of every other emotion! As we said, bottling up...
Chapter 11
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Summary
Love's a daily practice! So, here’s a quick recap: swap harsh self-talk for compassion, embrace emotions, let go with understanding. Words build bridges, not walls. Ditch expectations, life's bumpy. See the world, offer kindness. Effort unlocks connections and everyday joy. Love's not a feeling, it's a choice - choose it fiercely!
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About the Author
Sharon Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is among the first to bring mindfulness & lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture fifty years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers.
A co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, Sharon is the author of thirteen books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindess.
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